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Food Blogging Again: Flour Dumplings and Fried Potatoes and Applesauce

Ingredients:
– ~250g flour
– 2 eggs
– 150ml (sparkling) water
– a sprinkle of salt
> potatoes
> salt, pepper, sweet paprika
> oil

How-to Cook:
1. Mix the eggs, flour and water until it’s fluid but not too fluid anymore. Like, tough creamy batter. I don’t know how to describe it.
2. Add a little tiny bit of salt.
3. Put water in a pot, heat it up until it’s boiling, add salt to the water (not much) and then a spoonful of batter into the water until no batter is left.
4. Keep it in there for like 10 minutes or something.

I. Wash, peel and cut the potatoes. (3-4 potatoes if you got big ones, 6-7 if you got small ones)
II. Put the potatoes into water to get the starch out. I don’t know how that get’s it out, but apparently that it’s frying capability. Or something.
III. Put oil in a big frying pan and heat it up.
IV. When it’s ready add the potatoes and then wait. Occasionally stir it around so they get fried from all sides. I think I had them in for like 15 minutes.
V. Add a little bit of salt, pepper and sweet paprika once it’s done.

How-to Serve:
Put potatoes on the left side of your plate, flour dumplings on the right side of your plate, and the applesauce between and on the top of the plate (like, if you hold the plate, put it on the side that’s furthest away from you).
Enjoy!

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Carrot and Potato Soup

Ingredients:
– 4-5 carrots
– 3-4 potatoes
– salt, pepper

1. Wash and peel the carrots and potatoes.
2. Cut them into small, equal-sized squares.
3. Put them in a pot with water (water should just about cover everything).
4. Put the stove on 6 or 7 (I don’t know how many degrees that is, my stove doesn’t go that way) and cook it until everythings soft. (Until you can comfortably pierce through it with a fork.)
5. Mash everything together until it’s got a rich, orange color.
6. Put in as much salt and pepper as you like.

Enjoy!

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Words about unpleasant things

shit and vomit are very unpleasant things you usually don’t want to touch
unless you have the hots for that, I guess
but I don’t

so I shit into my toilet
and I also vomit into my toilet
or into a bucket next to my desk if I don’t make it to my toilet
(should I think about how often I have to vomit and look into what I’m doing wrong? nah.)

but today was a special day
I had meatloaf for lunch after not having breakfast
cheap meatloaf
cheap meatloaf where I didn’t know the origin
or how long it had been laying there
(I got the last bit so since it was noon maybe four hours? unless they reuse them. but then they’re probably not allowed to do that)

then four hours later I ate two cheap chocolate croissants from Aldi
these I love
they’re very tasty
probs also shit, but if I’ve eaten them alone without literal shit beforehand I never had problems
problems I could feel and see, anyway

then I went to the gym, and at the end of that my stomach was complaining that it hadn’t gotten any real food yet, and it was complaining so much I got a real bad tummyache (I could’ve written ‘stomachache’ but I like the word tummy. tummy is a nice, cute word)

I got home, sat down on my toilet for a shit (really I’m describing diarrhea here, that’s what it was, ‘shitting’ actually sounds too harmless), and as I sit down, I feel the vomit in my throat

I got up (I hadn’t started to shit yet) and knelt down so I could vomit into my toilet, but as I prepared myself to do exactly that the diarrhea was like, I’m definitely getting out, do you really want me all over your bathroom floor? and I was like: nooooooooo?

so I got back up and sat down on the toilet, and I thought, maybe I can keep the vomit in, like, do it in order?

NO.

I didn’t take any pictures, but as I started to shit, or really, as the diarrhea started to flow out of my asshole, I feel the vomit again, stronger, so I know I’m not capable of holding it back

so I do the only thing I can do at this point in my life:
I try to hold back my hair as much as possible, bow forward towards my shower as much as possible, without getting of the toilet because I didn’t want diarrhea all over my floor, and aim the vomit as good as possible at the shower

now
I didn’t miss completely
some of it went into the shower
all the ugly bits, like what looked like blood, and also undigested meatloaf pieces for some reason (how long does that take, it was in there for at least 10 hours! it should’ve been gone!)
but like half of it also went outside of the shower
real unpleasant
and I couldn’t do anything about it because I was still shitting

once that was done, I cleaned up my butt, and fled from the bathroom because I couldn’t stay in there any longer

then I felt another diarrhea coming up

and I was like “I’m not goint back in there” and, looking behind me, vaguely at my butt “you can’t make me”

luckily I have two bathrooms so that wasn’t an issue

I spent another hour on the other toilet (or more, I don’t know, I wasn’t timing it) until I was kinda sure that it was done
then I got my cleaning tools out and removed the vomit from my shower, and then I used said shower to clean myself

now I’m sitting here in the nude because I’m NOT wasting another pair of underwear and socks and another shirt just to sleep in it

which I will do in like half an hour probably

I hope you will never have to shomit in your life

I didn’t know it was possible

and I shouldn’t have doubted it

good night

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Glorious Neet-Life

Today I went to bed at 5am. I slept for six hours and got up at 11am. Without even feeling the hour we lost because of DST. Then I made myself some toast with peanut butter.

Then nine hours passed while I sat in my underpants in front of my pc doing nothing, absolutely nothing, of worth for myself or anyone else.

And just now I ate another two toasts, with liver sausage, which tasted great. I’m gonna have more of that. I need it because tomorrow will be tough.

First, I gotta be up and about before 11am because that’s when I have a meeting scheduled with people that will look at my car and try to fix it. Then I gotta go to my ex-eye-doctor and ask for all the documents they have on me, so I can show them to my new-eye-doctor. And in the afternoon a company will call me up for a phone interview so I have to be ready for that as well. Plus the company where I did that two-week internship also will probs call tomorrow and tell me if they want me or not. Which I’m not really sure if I would take it because they had issues, but a job’s a job. Or rather, money is money.

We’ll see.

Can’t someone just give me lots of money that I could spent over the next 50 years? I promise I’ll keep up my current lifestyle which will make me die at 30, 35 max, so it’s not really a longterm investment.

I’d do (almost) anything to make that dream come true.